Ten ways to gain friends

1. Think of others, not yourself, ask how they are, and don't spend too much time talking about yourself.

2. Never upstage your friends, they may be jealous of you. Always be authentic, who wants fake friends anyway.

3. Write real thank-you notes for anything that another may have done.  If the note is  home-made it is better, you can buy cute scrapbook items and personalize the note!

4. Be there when people need you.  If the friend is sick, bring food and ask what they eat, or offer to run errands for them.  Pitch in on their special occasions. At the least, send an e-mail, you are thinking of them.

5. Never let them borrow anything.  That creates un-real boundaries, and they will fill that they need to use you.  Explain that it is a rule of yours not to borrow (except for the wedding by tradition or from a family member) as you may ruin it or they may not return it. If you visit them, bring a gift, help buy gas, groceries, or take the to dinner.  Try not to over-stay your welcome, unless you are the "baby-sitter".  In that case, are they using you?

6. Do "you validaton" think of their best qualities and compliment them for them.  Do this to yourself, too. 

7. Invite them out for lunch or coffee, or better yet, a meal at your home.

8. Don't tell their secrets to anyone, be careful about telling your secrets to them.

9. Stay upbeat but listen and emphasize with their journey.  Often a good friend needs a "bitch body buddy" someone to complain to.  If they do too much of that, you may want to rethink them, are they addicted to distress? What can fix them?  Offer prayer and spirituality.

10. If they hurt your feelings explain in an honest way that you like them, but not the way it appeared that they acted, that it made you feel awkward, and hurt your feelings.

 

A true friend is a jewel, and will sparkle when it is clean.

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